# Coaching as a manager: how to use the GROW model Source: https://sarang.pro/coaching-as-a-manager-grow-model/ Author: Sarang | Published: 25 October 2026 Most managers were promoted because they were good at solving problems. So when someone brings them a problem, they solve it. That feels helpful, and in a crisis it is. Done every time, it trains the team to bring every problem back to the manager, and it caps the team's growth at the manager's capacity. Coaching is the alternative: helping someone find their own answer through questions. The GROW model is a widely used structure for doing that. This guide explains where it came from, how each stage works, the questions to ask and the mistakes that turn a coaching conversation back into instructions. ## What coaching means at work The CIPD's [coaching and mentoring factsheet](https://www.cipd.org/uk/knowledge/factsheets/coaching-mentoring-factsheet/) describes coaching as a one-to-one development approach aimed at improving work performance. It is usually non-directive, so the coach asks more than they tell, and it focuses on specific skills and goals. Mentoring is different: a more experienced colleague shares knowledge with a less experienced one, usually over a longer period. CIPD's surveys find that line managers are most likely to carry the main responsibility for coaching, often as part of everyday one-to-ones and performance conversations. CIPD also flags a tension: because a manager has power over the employee, coaching by a manager can lack the impartiality a coaching relationship needs. Being open about that, and being clear about confidentiality, helps. ## Where GROW comes from GROW was developed in the UK and spread through corporate coaching in the late 1980s and 1990s. [Sir John Whitmore](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GROW_model) published it in the first edition of *Coaching for Performance* in 1992, and Graham Alexander and Alan Fine are also credited with its development. It drew on Timothy Gallwey's Inner Game approach to sports coaching, which used questions instead of instructions to help players learn. [Performance Consultants](https://www.performanceconsultants.com/grow-model), the firm Whitmore founded, stresses a point worth remembering: the model only works alongside coaching skills. Whitmore's own warning was that "any dictator can use GROW". Asking the four sets of questions while steering the person towards your answer is not coaching. ## The four stages, with questions The letters vary slightly between versions. The O can stand for Options or Obstacles, and the W for Will or Way forward. The common version runs as follows. ### Goal Agree what the person wants from this conversation and from the wider situation. A clear goal is specific enough that they will know when they have reached it. - "What would you like to get out of the next 20 minutes?" - "What will success look like?" ### Reality Explore the current situation honestly: what is happening, what has been tried, what is getting in the way. This is often the most valuable stage, because describing the situation clearly can reveal the answer. - "What is happening right now?" - "What have you tried so far, and what happened?" - "What is stopping you?" ### Options Generate possible actions without judging them too early. Aim for several options before evaluating any. - "What options could you consider?" - "What else might work?" - "What would you do if you had no constraints?" ### Will (or way forward) Turn the best option into a commitment: a specific action, a date and a way of checking progress. - "What will you do first, and when?" - "How committed are you, on a scale of 1 to 10?" - "What support do you need from me?" Real conversations move back and forth between stages. If the options stage stalls, it often means the reality stage was rushed. ## A worked example An example (illustration only). Hannah manages Kofi, a junior account manager at a digital agency. Kofi says a client keeps adding work outside the agreed scope and he does not know what to do. - **Goal.** Hannah asks what Kofi wants from the conversation. He says: a way to handle scope requests without upsetting the client. - **Reality.** She asks what has happened so far. Kofi says he has agreed to four extra tasks in a month, has not told the client about cost, and feels the client sees him as junior. When Hannah asks what he thinks the client knows about the scope, he realises the client may never have seen the scope document since signing. - **Options.** Kofi suggests re-sharing the scope document, offering a change request process, asking Hannah to join the next call, or quietly absorbing the work. Hannah asks what each would mean for the client relationship in six months. - **Will.** Kofi decides to send the client a short summary of the scope and propose a simple change request form, and to handle the next call himself with Hannah on standby. He rates his commitment at 8 out of 10, and says a quick review of his email draft would make it a 9. They agree to check in on Friday. Hannah did not tell Kofi what to do. She did ask the question that changed his view of the problem. ## Common mistakes - **Leading questions.** "Have you thought about sending them the scope?" is advice dressed as a question. - **Skipping reality.** Jumping to options before the situation is clear produces shallow solutions. - **No commitment.** A good discussion that ends without an action and a date rarely changes anything. - **Coaching when the person needs instruction.** Someone new to a task needs direction first. Coaching works best when the person has some knowledge to draw on. - **Coaching in a crisis.** When a customer is about to leave or a system is down, decide and act. Coach afterwards. - **Using coaching to deliver hidden messages.** If you need someone to change their behaviour, say so directly, then coach on how. ## When to coach and when not to CIPD notes that coaching is not a solution for everything. It suits building interpersonal skills, developing someone after a promotion, supporting career decisions and helping people through change. It suits poorly when the person lacks basic knowledge of the task, when the matter is urgent, or when the issue is really a performance or conduct problem that needs a clear conversation. A practical rule: if the person has some of the knowledge and the time pressure is low, coach. If they have none of the knowledge or the pressure is high, tell, and explain why. Over time, the share of coaching should grow as your team's skills do. Start small. In your next one-to-one, when someone brings you a problem, ask "What have you tried so far?" before offering anything. Then ask "What else could you do?" You may be surprised by how often the answer is already there.